Monday, February 15, 2021

Am I a calm Mom ?



 

Life before a baby and life after a  baby are completely different. Like most of the moms, I too had an image in my mind of a being a perfect and a calm mom all the time when I was expecting my son. Each of us go through our own experiences of motherhood. Being a mom truly changes everything and it can be overwhelming too at times!

Am I a calm mom all the all time ? Honestly, I am not .I am really working hard on not losing my temper and get irritated easily. One thing which I have realized is that having a calm mom matters a lot to every child. Our children are our own reflections. If one snaps at their child every time he asks a question, after a point of time the child will start behaving in the same manner and snap at us when we ask him something.

Since I became a mother, I realized that I got irritated easily. A small trivial thing was enough to set the trigger off for me and I started to take that out on my son. I soon realized that this was not correct. It wasn't my son's fault at all and I wouldn't be able to raise a calm child if I am not calm myself.

It takes a lot of hard work to control one's emotions. I am sharing a few tips which I have learnt along the way and which have helped me to be a calm mom :

The child is not responsible for a mom's behavior:

The mother has to understand that she is responsible for her actions and behavior. Being overwhelmed with day to day duties is not child's fault. A mother's emotional state at the moment reflects her state of mind. It is very easy to get angry at your child and scold him when he spills milk on his clothes. But it takes a conscious effort to stay calm and tell the child that it is alright. Change his clothes and tell him calmly to be careful while drinking milk the next time.

Identify and acknowledge the triggers which set you off and make you angry.

Sit down. Take a deep breath. Write down the points which make you angry. Are your overwhelmed with the house work? Have you got enough sleep? Answer these questions and then try to work on them. 

Wake up 1-2 hours before your family wakes up. Take this opportunity to do what makes you happy. Read a book,have a cup of coffee, listen to music, workout or just  do nothing. This will definitely charge you for the day ahead.

Keep your phone away when you spend time with your child. Set aside certain time in a day when you do not use your phone at all. Let this be your special time with your child. You will realize that your child will feel very happy and it will definitely strengthen your bond with him. 

Accept the fact that you are not a supermom. Do not try to be perfect at everything, It is alright if the house is not clean one day or you didn't make ten things for dinner. Do not stress out because that stress will definitely be visible in your behavior.

Ask for help. If you are feeling overwhelmed, ask your husband or family to pitch in. Take this time to meet a friend for coffee. Go out, have a good time with friends. You will definitely come back rejuvenated and will be in a better mood.

Declutter . If mess makes you irritated, then de clutter and donate or throw the things which you no longer need. Seeing a clean and neat space definitely brightens up the mood.

Last but not the least, enjoy with your children. Make each moment special. The children grow up very fast. This is the time to hug them, laugh with them at their silly jokes and play with them. Enjoy this beautiful phase and always remember that you are the best mom for your child!

#motherhood #calmmom #mom

9 comments:

  1. The checklist you shared is going to help so many moms to understand their trigger points and get it cleared!!

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  2. I so so wish to be a calm mom, sometimes I feel I am super calm and other day I end up being hyper active. These pointers are helpful

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  3. Great tips dear, I agree motherhood is hard and it brings lots of uncontrolled emotions, when we have to do so much in a single day. waking up early is always a good idea to do some productive work, and it also help in organizing the whole day properly.

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  4. No matter how calm we are but we are also humans. So it is obvious to loos our calm occasionally. But knowing the triggers and working towards controlling them is very important.

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  5. We all know life is not the same after having a child the responsibility multiples, self care is not on list at times... Emotion fluctuations is always on peak and I am the one at times full hyper and at times calm. thank you for sharing the tips.

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  6. As a mom I know it is not easy to keep calm all the time, especially when you have a growing child. These tips are really nice and doable, also I believe it is okay to vent off at times when things go beyond control.

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  7. I also question my self at times if I am a calm mom. The answer is no many a times. With the day today pressures I at times loose my sanity. But I have to agree we need to work on our triggers and keep kids happy

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  8. Very nicely written. I have two kids and this pandemic has seen the worst out of me but again I don't believing in hitting kids so it's the voice that I had to raise. And there was a time that I yelled so much I lost my voice for a week. But yes I am not a superior and I have my meltdowns.

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  9. This is a very well written ans realistic article. As a mom of two kids, of which my younger is just 5 months old, I can very well relate to your article. Very often due to everyone at home demanding my attention, I tend to loose my cool and end up shouting at my elder one or snapping at my husband. A while later, I realise the error and apologise to them. But then, it is a conscious, gradual effort to stay calm and handle things.

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