Wednesday, June 9, 2021

I Am An Imperfect Mom


image source - www.pexels.com 

I am a very organized person. I love to plan everything ahead and can't survive without my to -do lists. When I was expecting, I thought that I would be able to plan everything for my baby too. But I was so wrong. After my son was born everything was born, everything was not the way I wanted it to be. In the beginning as a new mother it was overwhelming. Like everyone, I also read a lot of books in my pregnancy on how to raise babies, their habits, milestones and what not! But does everything go by the book all the time? No! 

Things did not go as per my plan and it frustrated me. I started feeling guilty of not being a good mom. One day I had a long chat with my husband who was aware of my mood swings. He explained to me that in my son's eyes, I was the best. He loved me even though things were not going as per my plan. It took a lot of effort and time to realize that everything doesn't need to be black and white. Grey is also good! 


I still plan and follow my to do lists but my attitude towards something that doesn't go as per my plan has changed. 


Sharing certain tips which helped me to get my peace 


There is no rule book for parenting. Your child teaches you everyday. You have to try to work out things accordingly. Go with the flow. Do not stress if your child didn't do the activity that you planned to do with him or if he didn't eat the fruit that you wanted him to eat . Maybe he wants to eat a banana in stead of an apple , or maybe he wants to play with blocks rather than doing the activity you planned for him. Enjoy every moment with your children. They grow up very fast.


image source - www.pexels.com


Nobody is perfect. Do not be hard on yourself. There will be days when everything goes as per how you want and there will be days when nothing goes as per your plan. 


Multitasking is great but if you are single handedly doing everything then if you are not able to complete something do not feel guilty. 


image source :www.pexels.com


Don't be hard on yourself if you make a mistake. Remember that everyone learns from their mistakes. It is absolutely okay question if you are doing everything correctly. It's okay to apologize to our children for making a wrong decision.They also need to learn that one has to try if something goes wrong. We need to show them how to try again and again,how to make choices and be flexible to change.


It is okay to have a messy house.There will be a mess when there are small children in the house and you don't have help.Your priority is to spend time with your children. From the time your child is a baby, try to designate one room or area for playing inside the house. This helps because when the children grow up, they know that they don't have to keep their toys all over the place. 


image source : www.pexels.com


Prioritize your to do list. If you have seven things to be done in a day, tackle the three most important ones first. If you have time then go for the next one's otherwise carry forward the tasks to the next day. 


It is okay to cry. Crying doesn't make you weak. It's absolutely normal to feel sad and cry. We are also showing our children that it is alright to show and express your emotions.


Don't let people's judgment bother you. You cannot control people from passing comments but you can control yourself to ignore and let them not bother you. People will always pass comments or judge you. You have to take control over your emotions.


It is alright to take out time for yourself. It can sometimes feel impossible to step away from your family. Because they are everything to you. You need some time away from everyone. make this this time as your sacred time and do what makes you happy. Certain days if you don't feel like doing anything is also okay. But do something only for yourself. It could be as simple as applying a face mask or listening to music.


We are all imperfect mothers. Imperfection is not a flaw. It is an opportunity. Every time we fail at something, we try again. This also helps us to show our children that every time we can recover from failure by trying again.


 This blog post is part of the blog challenge ‘Blogaberry Dazzle’ hosted by Cindy D’Silva and Noor Anand Chawla.

 


28 comments:

  1. This is one of the good posts for the newbie moms. As motherhood is new experience for all mothers who expect their first child and they do not know how to be perfect on that. Imperfection is blessing to show how they can try new things and enjoy with their child for first time.

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  2. It's absolutely rightly said, parenting has no rule book. Give yourself a pat on back and be yourself. It's a journey and you will learn while walking on it. More power.

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  3. It's absolutely rightly said, parenting has no rule book. Give yourself a pat on back and be yourself. It's a journey and you will learn while walking on it. More power.

    - Swarnali Nath

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  4. its so true, you could read all the books, get all the advice in the world but your experience is unique and only you can deal with it best. Such a simple yet reassuring post for new moms

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  5. These are the very same things I keep telling to Parents in my workshops. Good Article

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  6. That's such a lovely post to help especially the new or to-be moms. Yes, parenting can't have any rule book. Every child is different from others and tackling them might be unique. You're the best person who only know how to deal with your child. Your simple writing is very attractive dear.

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  7. I have seen you with T, Simrit and I think you are a great Mom! Loved your post too as it is sure to reassure every Mom who thinks like you do.
    Mayuri/Sirimiri

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  8. True that no one is perfect but everyone is unique on their own. And really there is no rule book for parenting. Totally agree that imperfection is an opportunity to learn and grow.

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  9. Each and every point had me nodding my head. There are no rules of parenting. You learn with your child, particularly with the first one. It is okay to make mistakes.

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  10. I am totally an imperfect Mum but I know that it is okay. Every mom needs to be easy on herself and especially not compare herself with others and not even their children. Your pointers definitely help.

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  11. There's no rule book for parenting. We learn from our own experience. And perfection, it's about an individual's perception and nothing else. Liked the article!

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  12. I so hear you but you girls have so much information. I was 19 when I got pregnant and there was no internet. I used to think that being a mom is so cool..Like the Johnsons soap and powder ad. I was so shocked when I finally had my son!

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  13. Parenting is always from experience not matter how hard we plan everything it always goes haywire and we have to learn on the way.

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  14. Oh so relatable!! Have felt that a million times and then I realised that yes, It was Ok to not do everything always! Lovely and well-listed out points in your post....gives a sigh of relief to every mom - new and old that "We have had company"!!!

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  15. It's very true that a mom struggles a lot.... But nobody appreciates a mother's struggle.... Each and every mom is perfect in her own way..... Lovely❤

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  16. You are absolutely right. In these times of social media, many mothers feel the pressure of being a perfect mom. No mother is perfect, no child is perfect. Moms are humans too.

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  17. Being a mom is a tough job...and we make it tougher because of the guilt of being perfect.
    A mom grows with her child. And the best part is when my daughter says " mom u r perfect for me"...every mom is the right mother the child needs...

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  18. Part of the journey of being a parent is that you grow and learn with your child. So as long as the child is happy and healthy and hygiene is not compromised, enjoy the greys!

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  19. I truly believe and Lived my life as a new mom on the pointers you mentioned above. I feel myself lucky enough that my mother in law calms my mind in those days and ask me to follow these pointers as there is no need to be hard on yourself.

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  20. Girl I so agree with you. Yes it is ok to cry! Yes it is ok to have your home messy. Doing eveythi g single is so difficult. And we have to understand that

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  21. No doubt being a mother is tough but at the same time it's a blessing. Bring guilty and overwhelmed is part of motherhood. But yes we as a mother grow with our child and this learning Help us to be better is everything.

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  22. I am not a mom but parenting is not easy yet all the parents are wonderful.

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  23. Really loved the way your out it out that imperfections are not flaws but opportunities. Such a well written post

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  24. Yes, it is completely okay for not being perfect. I have also left all the perfectionist tag and would like to have a messy play area thana messy headache. And one more thing in parenting is we have to stop comparing our child milestones with others then we shall have peaceful sleep.

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  25. Proud to be a imperfect and so should be every mom .... Perfection for mothers are overated and everyone is perfect in their own way , because being a mom is the most perfect thing

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  26. Hell yes!! I agree with all the pointers you have outlined here and it is absolutely ok to cry and feel. Happily a imperfect mom!

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  27. I think every mom is perfect and there is no rule book for parenting. I totally agree with every point you mentioned here.

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