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I am a very organized person. I love to plan everything ahead and can't survive without my to -do lists. When I was expecting, I thought that I would be able to plan everything for my baby too. But I was so wrong. After my son was born everything was born, everything was not the way I wanted it to be. In the beginning as a new mother it was overwhelming. Like everyone, I also read a lot of books in my pregnancy on how to raise babies, their habits, milestones and what not! But does everything go by the book all the time? No!
Things did not go as per my plan and it frustrated me. I started feeling guilty of not being a good mom. One day I had a long chat with my husband who was aware of my mood swings. He explained to me that in my son's eyes, I was the best. He loved me even though things were not going as per my plan. It took a lot of effort and time to realize that everything doesn't need to be black and white. Grey is also good!
I still plan and follow my to do lists but my attitude towards something that doesn't go as per my plan has changed.
Sharing certain tips which helped me to get my peace
There is no rule book for parenting. Your child teaches you everyday. You have to try to work out things accordingly. Go with the flow. Do not stress if your child didn't do the activity that you planned to do with him or if he didn't eat the fruit that you wanted him to eat . Maybe he wants to eat a banana in stead of an apple , or maybe he wants to play with blocks rather than doing the activity you planned for him. Enjoy every moment with your children. They grow up very fast.
Nobody is perfect. Do not be hard on yourself. There will be days when everything goes as per how you want and there will be days when nothing goes as per your plan.
Don't be hard on yourself if you make a mistake. Remember that everyone learns from their mistakes. It is absolutely okay question if you are doing everything correctly. It's okay to apologize to our children for making a wrong decision.They also need to learn that one has to try if something goes wrong. We need to show them how to try again and again,how to make choices and be flexible to change.
Prioritize your to do list. If you have seven things to be done in a day, tackle the three most important ones first. If you have time then go for the next one's otherwise carry forward the tasks to the next day.
It is okay to cry. Crying doesn't make you weak. It's absolutely normal to feel sad and cry. We are also showing our children that it is alright to show and express your emotions.
Don't let people's judgment bother you. You cannot control people from passing comments but you can control yourself to ignore and let them not bother you. People will always pass comments or judge you. You have to take control over your emotions.
It is alright to take out time for yourself. It can sometimes feel impossible to step away from your family. Because they are everything to you. You need some time away from everyone. make this this time as your sacred time and do what makes you happy. Certain days if you don't feel like doing anything is also okay. But do something only for yourself. It could be as simple as applying a face mask or listening to music.
We are all imperfect mothers. Imperfection is not a flaw. It is an opportunity. Every time we fail at something, we try again. This also helps us to show our children that every time we can recover from failure by trying again.